When researchers look at what makes students successful, they always find expectations play a key role. If parents and teachers hold high expectations, children usually live up to them. That's true in academics...in athletics...and it's true for behavior as well.
Put the Power of Positive Expectations to Work....Here's How
Emphasize the Three A's and B's
- Attendance
- Show your child that you think attendance is important. You go to work if you have a headache or if the weather is cold-Your child should also go to school on those days.
- Achievement
- We all need goals. Help your child to learn to set goals...and achieve them. When he reaches one goal, show that you are pleased-and that you expect him or her to set their sights even higher next time.
- Attitude
- One famous person once said, "It's your attitude and not your aptitude that determines your altitude." In other words, even the brightest student can fail if he or she doesn't work hard. Let your children know you expect them to do their very best.
- Be positive
- Talk with your children about things they are working on. Don't let them call these things, "things they are bad at." Don't let low self-esteem keep them from reaching their goals.
- Be consistent
- Tell your child you expect him or her to study a certain amount of time each day. Don't let your child put off homework until the late evening. Have them choose a time for homework...and then stick to it.
- Be there for your child
- Take time to talk...and listen...to your child. Plan some special time alone with each child each week. During these times alone, you can talk about your hopes and expectations for your child.
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Expect Kids to Develop Good Habits
A habit is an automatic action that takes no conscious thought. Habits help most if us get through the day. When we get up in the morning, we don't stop to think, "Maybe I should brush my teeth." We just do it.
Parents can help children develop positive habits, too. Show that you expect your child to develop the habit of doing homework at a regular time, for example, or the habit of spending time reading each day.
- Talk with your child about other habits you expect him or her to develop. A few possibilities include:
- Writing down homework assignments
- Remembering to bring needed materials home form school
- Remembering to take homework and other materials back to school
- Going to bed on time
- Getting up on time and being ready for school on time
- Making his or her bed and straightening his or her room in the morning
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Here are some ways you can encourage good habit formation:
- Don't do everything at once
- Remember the year you made 15 New Year's resolutions? By Valentine's Day you had given up on all of them. Your kids are the same. Choose only a few habits you'd like them to develop.
- Make sure your kids are involved
- After all, you are trying to change their habits. Talk with them about what you're trying to do. Let them know that positive habits can make their lives easier and more pleasant. Ask them to choose one or two things they'd like to work on first.
- Allow 21 days
- Experts have discovered that if you repeat an action every day for 21 days, it is likely to become automatic. So, for the next 21 days, expect your kids to act on their new habits. After that, they'll find they do it without even thinking about it.
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